Monday, April 17, 2017

Highly Illogical Chocolate Jesus

This is another wiffle waffle post.  I should do it - I shouldn't do it.  People might get mad - but who cares?!  Etc, etc, etc.  You know how the brain works.  Well, maybe yours doesn't.  But by now you've seen how mine works at least a smidge.

Yeah, I get it.  It's scary up in here sometimes.

Actually, that's part of the waffling - well, that and Easter, and bullshit.  You know.

Maybe this should be two posts?  Eh... fuck it.  My blog, my brain.

In the very recent past one of my sisters and I were discussing the crazy that is in our family.  I mean, there is some legit actual mental illness crazy going on in a few limbs and branches of ye olde family tree - and then there's what we call our Crazy.  It's like... we see it happening.  We KNOW that whatever reaction we are having, or are about to have (or about to say), is *completely* and totally irrational.  WE SEE IT.  Know what happens?  If I'm not real careful Crazy Dani actually lets that irrational bullshit come out of her mouth, or does something really stupid.  I've also discussed this with my Person.  He says all women are crazy.  Well yeah - I mean, that is true to a degree.  I guess what I'm wondering is - for those of you who have ovaries - do you see that shit happening like an out of body experience (like we do), or do you just you know.. like float back to normalcy and hindsight gives you a nasty view?  Or are you crazy free?  (Disclaimer:  you can tell me you're crazy free, but I'll know you're lying.  Ovaries.)

Not that it matters really.  In my soon to be 38 years (birthday comin', I like surprises), I have yet to figure out how to keep it from happening.  I have simply learned how to mitigate the damage.  Like - only talk to people important to you IF you give the clarification that you're a little cray today.  Otherwise, zip sister - because you're going to ruin relationships, eff up dinner, screw up holidays, cause an accident and/or topple governments.

WAIT. A. DAMN. MINUTE.

I'm running for President in the next go 'round.  I expect your full support.  If you aren't hearing some exceptional symphonic metal in your mind right now - then you just don't know what you're missing.

Which kind of leads me to Easter.  Weird transition I know - but try to keep up.

So.

I felt a little cray on Saturday.  Which was weird, because I was "Lookit how cool I am with my spiffy bruises from class, I'm the rockin'est EVAH" all week long.  I ignored it.  I think I managed to maintain decent control on the cray for that day.  I felt so off, I didn't even complain about the drills we had to do on Thursday, which included motherfuckingsprawls I might add.

Then Sunday rolls up, and I'm like - hold up.  It's Easter.  I miss my Mom.  We are celebrating a day when this man supposedly rose from the dead to save us all.  Huh.  And you know what?  I'm still pissed off.  STILL PISSED.  So eff you Zombie Jesus (or Lich Jesus, whichever you prefer).  We ordered pizza.  So eff your ham dinner too.

Also?  Not really interested in hearing the religion lecture from anyone.  I think people forget that religion is what I'm schoolin' for, so I'm not a godsdamned idiot.  I *know* the bible - all the versions.  Keep your wine and crackers to yourself for right now too.  I'm only here for the chocolate.  Which, since it's all on sale today... I will be grabbing.  And having to do extra laps for.

As it turns out the most recent spate of craziness did indeed have a "reason".  So that's good I guess.

 I'm not really sure where I was going with all of that bullshit, but there it is. Like Mom used to say, "Don't worry, you will be assimilated" and when you are, it should all make sense. Some of us are still waiting.


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