You want to know what one of the most difficult things for me to do is? Edit myself. Censure myself. Unfortunately, I feel like I have to do a lot of that. I don't post truly personal things on my various social media accounts - and I don't feel as though I can go into detail here either because my life intersects with others. It's frustrating beyond belief.
I will say this - a couple of weeks ago, I saw an end to something that I thought would last longer. That's never a fun time. In fact, it is still in the process of sucking. But hey - for once, I didn't fuck things up! That's all I will say about that.
------------------ OH NOES SHE'S GOING ON A RANT NOW ---------------
I spend a lot of time in my head - as I've mentioned many times in the past. I realized a couple things. Wait - no, I did not. These are things that I have always known, and or seen, and just haven't spoken about.
Trending all over social media right now is "Me, too". Something women post to show that sexual harassment and sexual assault are far more prevalent than people like to think. It's a fantastic idea - in theory. Bear with me - and lets zoom out for a minute.
John F. Smith is a man in his mid to late thirties - he has an ex-wife, as well as two daughters. He regularly jokes around in the "boys will be boys" manner that is damn near second nature to him. Commenting among his friends on the looks of the waitress, or talking about how crazy his last girlfriend was, etc. Nothing too terrible - obnoxious sure, but mostly overlooked by society at large. When he's with his girls though, it's a different tune. He wants them to be strong, intelligent, self-sufficient and independent. He wants to make sure that his babies know how to take care of themselves, so they won't ever be taken advantage of. HIS daughter will not be treated that way!
GODDAMN IT - YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS
Is it really any wonder that we have an entire society of women who base their worth on the way they look, or how they behave in a relationship? Sure - Dad wants you to do X, Y, and Z - but those things don't match what you've seen him do in his own relationships. Those things don't match what the magazines, news papers, movies and television are telling you. Actions all around you have shown that if you want to find love, happiness, and security - you can only do that while being beautiful, kind of helpless, and dumbing yourself down.
Strong? She's a bitch. She's stubborn. She think's she's something she isn't.
Intelligent? She's a bitch. Good thing she's smart, she's not pretty. Etc.
Self-sufficient? She's a bitch. She's probably gay. Couldn't catch a man if she wanted to.
Independent? She's a bitch. She's probably gay. She's trying to act like a man. Dumb feminist.
So.. yeah. I did, I hopped on that "Me, too" bandwagon because I have been sexually harassed, and it's a very honest thing. I just wish there was more to it than just a social media trend. All these wonderful women I know that are screaming either loudly, or internally "ME, TOO" and... that's it. You're probably wondering, "What the hell does she want us to do??"
I don't know. *shrug* I really don't fucking know. Perhaps call out your men (whether they be fathers, brothers, husbands, etc) whenever you see the dichotomy - especially if you have children? Call out *yourself* if you suddenly realized that you have also shown your daughter, or nieces, that their worth is based on more than what's beneath their skin? Because, I repeat - you can't have it both ways.
I don't mean to belittle the voice that a lot of women have discovered with this trend. I think it's beautiful. I just also think that since we're all being so brave RIGHT NOW, we should continue that on - past the social media trend, into real life. Make sure your little girls get a different set of guidelines - and make sure your little boys do too. Then maybe in the next couple of generations there won't be a need for "Me, too".
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