Euphemisms, Honesty, and a fallow field of fucks

So many things to say.  The year of firsts really sucks.

Remember, I started this blog because no one talks about grief.  Well - no one talks honestly about grief.  Things might get a little uncomfortable up in here.  Fair warning.


As a society we use a multitude of euphemisms for death or dying.  A person passed.  They transitioned.  They are no longer with us.  They've gone to glory.  He/she is in a better place.  Jesus called him/her home.  The angles needed him/her.  Got his/her just rewards.  I'm sure you've heard them all.  Why??  Why do we do that?  Because flat saying, "Mother's day this year sucks ass because my mother is DEAD" is for some reason not socially acceptable.

Test it out - it feels... verboten.

My mother is dead.  This weekend sucked pretty hard for me, my Dad and my sisters, because my mother is dead.

Right??  Feels weird.  Know what else?  It feels strangely fucking good.  My mother is dead.  Does that make you uncomfortable?  Perhaps just as uncomfortable as I am when I have to explain that I'm currently miserable because my mother is dead?

I'm aware that isn't really fair - especially not to people who don't know me, my family, or the situation.  I do find however, that I'm currently out of fucks to give. *shrug*

Being the mostly sane and fairly logical person that I am, I know that in a short bit I'll be fine again.  It's all good - don't go freaking out on me.  This whole thought process has really pointed out to me though how often we go out of our way to NOT say what we mean.  I like to think I don't do that too terribly often, but I'm sure I have.

Maybe if we stopped using goddamned euphemisms for anything and everything that is the slightest bit unpleasant - we would have adults that are capable of coping, children who aren't frightened of words, and a people as a whole who are generally more well balanced.  At least be honest with yourself.

Euphemism: My mother passed away.
Reality:  My mother is dead.

Euphemism: She can be a little opinionated sometimes.
Reality: I think she's bitchy because I don't agree with her opinions.

Euphemism:  We can all just agree to disagree!
Reality: I still think you're wrong, but don't want to argue anymore.

Euphemism: He's currently between jobs.
Reality: He's unemployed.

Euphemism: You're becoming a little thin up top.
Reality:  You're balding.

Euphemism: We need to worry about our own people, not the world!!
Reality: I am slightly bigoted, but don't want to admit my fear of the outside world.

Euphemism:  She's currently working as an escort.
Reality:  She's a hooker.

Try it.  Pick a day.  And just be honest that whole day.  No euphemisms, no sugar coating.  That doesn't mean you have to be rude either.  You can be honest, and still be polite.  See what happens.