My dad died.
9/16/2020. It would have been my parents 42nd Wedding Anniversary. I don't think that's a coincidence.
It's different this time. Worse in a lot of ways because it was sudden - an accident; but better in some because I think that he and mom will be together.
Worse because I still had so many things to say, to do, and to work out between us. Dad wasn't always nice, especially as he got older. Some of the things that he said and did growing up weren't exactly shining examples of perfect parenthood. But... he was dad. My therapist tells me, "That person is doing the best they can, with what they have". Dad did that.
I'm not really sure what to do at this point. The bulk of my adult life has been helping him care for mom, and then making sure he was ok. Who am I now? An adult orphan.
We had a dumpster dropped off, so that we could start getting rid of stuff. Dad had like 4 of everything. It got particularly bad after mom died. I understand the psychology - it was a thing he COULD control in a world where he had very little control. That doesn't make cleaning it up any easier.
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