Oh loyal readers, the things that I have learned.
Yeah, I just said that. Loyal. Readers. Sounds fancy, doesn't it?? *sniffs* Please pass the Grey Poupon.
I expected to be sore, and frankly - slightly miserable. I didn't expect the rest. I posted briefly on social media about the emotional bull shit. First. What the fuck is wrong with people? Why doesn't anyone mention that these things can happen?? I literally was convinced that I was losing my effing mind after ugly crying on the phone to my sister. A little research later, and I discover that if you are overweight (not knocking myself, calm your tit - it's just facts), or just flat out of shape, and you suddenly start doing super intense exercises, then your brain gets a *massive* jolt from various endorphins and hormones. This in turn will fuck you up (or at least me). (It's all very science-y, yeah?)
I thought I was broken. Turns out - I'm not broken! Yippity goddamned skippity!
I am also breaking out like a teenage boy. It's disgusting. I sweat like a man, so I'm basically having to shower twice a day. I'm not crying like a pregnant woman anymore - I'm just cranky today. Not even a bad cranky. Just.. snarky and salty. Don't ask me to do complicated math though. Wait. I don't do that shit anyway.
All complaining aside (and yes, I'm gonna complain - it is my prerogative)... It's actually going well. Despite the soreness, the epic level tiredness, the zits, the crying jags, etc - it's good. Don't ask me to say that out loud, I don't think I can make it happen. I go really slow, and stop a lot to breathe - but I'm doing it. I've discovered that I can do just about anything in increments of five. I make hash marks on my paper with the WOD on it (workout of the day). If I need to do 50 push ups? I do ten sets of five. It works. For days 3 and 4 I did or am doing half reps. For the first two days I did a little more than quarter reps. 15 in place of 50, etc. Maybe by the end of this thing I'll be able to do full reps!
WOD 4: Thurs 11th
20 Hip Mobility
150 Lunges (150 in total using either leg)
50 Sphinx Push-Ups
100 Lunges (100 in total using either leg)
50 Sphinx Push-Ups
50 Lunges (50 in total using either leg)
50 Sphinx Push-Ups
25 Lunges (25 in total using either leg)
50 Sphinx Push-Ups
20 Hip Mobility
WOD 3: Weds 10th
20 Hip Mobility
30 Burpees
60 Squat Kicks (Front Kicks – 30 per leg)
50 Frog Jumps
30 Sit Throughs (15 on each side)
50 Press Ups
30 Sit Throughs (15 on each side)
50 Frog Jumps
60 Squat Kicks (Front Kicks – 30 per leg)
30 Burpees
20 Hip Mobility
WOD 2: Tues 9th
20 Hip Mobility
100 Roundhouse Kicks (right leg 100, left leg 100)
30 Sit-Ups 1-2
75 Roundhouse Kicks (right leg 75, left leg 75)
30 Sit-Ups 1-2
50 Hammerfist Press Ups
30 Sit-Ups 1-2
50 Roundhouse Kicks (left leg 50, right leg 50)
30 Sit-Ups 1-2
25 Roundhouse Kicks (left leg 25, right leg 25)
20 Hip Mobility
WOD 1: Mon 8th
20 Hip Mobility
50 Press Ups
50 Mountain Climbs (2 counts as one)
50 V Crunches
50 Squat Kicks
50 Eight Count Bodybuilder
50 Squat Kicks
50 V Crunches
50 Mountain Climbs (2 counts as one)
50 Press Ups
20 Hip Mobility
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