A little while ago, I deactivated my Facebook account for about 3 days. It was getting to be too much. I opened it back up, and said ok... you were so much happier without it, leave it be. It can exist without you constantly checking it.
Riiiiight. I failed hard on that one. I turned off the notifications on my phone, but gradually started checking it more and more frequently. I don't claim that it's the same for each person, but for me, the NOW mentality is brutal. The need to know NOW how a person reacted, or commented to a specific thing. The need to know NOW if a person replied to a comment. Why? Why is that necessary? I think I would rather wait and receive a well thought out reply, or answer, than anything given in the NOW mentality.
That all sounds super hoity-toity - but eh, I don't mean it that way.
I guess I feel like the value in an instantaneous relationship - whether that is a friendship, conversation among peers, or even the comments made to strangers on a news article - is low. Yes, I some instances I'm sure it can be high, but really? It's low. They are reactive. I know I'm not perfect, so I know that my initial reactions (when prompted by anything I feel passionately about) are not always... erudite, succinct, or hell - even kind. Maybe other people are good at it - I'm not. I'm also bad at passive aggressive.
JESUS WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY WOMAN?!
I guess because I'm bad at it, I need to steer my focus away from it. I need to foster more personal relationships - where we actually talk. Oh don't freak, messages are fine, but REAL conversations. I want to have my tribe. I want my tribe to be full of real people I can count on for more than a comment or a reaction.
I just have to figure out the best way to do that - for me. The balance is currently fucked up, yeah?
So hey, if we talk? Welcome to my tribe. Pretty sure shit's gonna get weird in the best of ways. If we don't talk? Maybe we should!
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