Tilt the scales and call it a win

Positive things:

Played lots of Skyrim this weekend.  Yeah, that's positive.  Finally started a Kahjiit character, I've always wanted a tail - 🤓

Watched my nephew. (Cutest nephew ever)

It's only in the 70's outside today (Mother nature, you fickle bitch you)

I have the most awesome dog and cat in the world (They are definitely better than yours, so shut it)

I have awesome people

I have an excellent Person.

I have an amazing BFF.

I have THE BEST teammates at class. (Teammates... seems off, but whatevs, I needed a word for everyone) 

I have some excellent family.

Negative things:

Tomorrow. 

I want to sleep for forty five days.

I also want to eat an entire strawberry funfetti cake - while sleeping for 45 days.

I am being super sensitive about stupid shit.

Progress.  Positive is longer than negative.  

Suck it up, Buttercup - Research rabbit holes, and counting down

Been a minute. Not even going to apologize.  Shit happens.  In this case - a lot of shit happened.

In different recent news, I applaud the folks that I deal with on a daily basis who were understanding during the brief time that I didn't have one of my medications.  Seriously - if I baked, I'd bake you cookies.  I don't though, so... thanks?

The good part of that happening is that I now know which ones I can afford (health wise) to skip if I can't afford them money-wise.  Handy. Yeah, fuck you insurance companies.  Also, fuck you pharmaceutical companies.  And fuck you lobbyists.  I think I'm done with that one.

This month sucks.  Bad.  The only good things in this month are the birthdays of two important people to me.  That's it.  I have gone to class.  I have gone to work.  I have smiled and nodded to a lot of people.  I've told everyone, "I'm fine, thanks".  I have attempted to submerge myself in books, news, crafts, gaming - seriously, you name it, I did it.  I have rabbit hole researched the strangest things - I found the CIA library, I learned more about Jeffrey Dahmer, and then I researched weird laws still on the books.  Oh!  And lots of cults, TI's and MK Ultra.  I'm reading Half Broke Horses - which is awesome.  I'm alternating between constant character creation on Skyrim, and like.. four other games.  I'm keeping up with what's going on in the country (we're fucked) and what's going on in the world (yep, we're fucked).

All of this in an attempt to behave as though I am not silently counting down the days to the anniversary of mom's death.  Today is 8/23/17.  It's 2:03 pm.  I have 6 days, 3 hours and 54 minutes to go.  It does't feel like it's been a year.

We're all a little touchy. I don't have much patience when I feel fabulous, so I really have none now - and I don't care.  I mean, seriously - I do not care.  Don't care if I hurt your feelings.  Don't care if you are offended by the way I'm attempting to cope.  Don't care if you agree with me.  Don't care if you don't agree with me. I am swimming in a large warm pool of apathy and anger.  At least right now. Please don't poke the bear - and please don't decide you hate me until after the 29th, ok?

Gimme a couple hours, it'll change.  Kinda like the weather.

I think I may go camp the weekend after.  Drink entirely too much booze in the woods, be sweaty, sleep. Sing loudly and badly because I can.  Yeah.